My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
