By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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