I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
everyone is single if you try hard enough
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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