i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i drank out of a bidet.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
