finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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