I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
