I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
