Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
