dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
