i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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