I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
