oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
