I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
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Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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