This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize