i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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