wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
