Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have fence marks all over my body
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
