did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
