I'm sorry my penis didn't work
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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