She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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