I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
