my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
