my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
