absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Found the puke drawer
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
