Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
