ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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