Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
