Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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