are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
