the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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