turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
