Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
A+ Viking dick
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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