So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
