sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize