Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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