Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
