so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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