You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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