I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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