I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
