So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
