As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
