Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
