Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That was before I lit my hair on fire
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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