Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
