Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
