I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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