i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
not ubering you a puppy
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
