My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
