So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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