Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Green mimosas i think yes
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
