u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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