I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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