I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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