she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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