If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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