Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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