I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
