i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
