he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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