Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
if only i could text you this smell
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
