I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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